I Can Relate.

Hi Everyone,

            I know it’s been a while but sometimes I write blogs and I’m not happy with the final product. I try to put a lot of time and thought into my blogs. To do this, I like to set aside a time to reflect, write, and just be in the moment. (I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true) Today my entire story is going to be put out on the table. Before you continue to read, I want to you to take a moment and realize I am writing this blog today to relate to people and show them they can get through anything. Sometimes I find myself scared to share all of these stories because I don’t want people to think I’m looking for attention or sympathy.

Today’s post is going to be the base for the blog posts to follow. I’ll touch on multiple moments in my entire story, in future blog posts I will go more in depth on each one. Hopefully this makes sense! If not, it will eventually I promise! So majority of you reading this may or may not have read my previous posts on my page “Find the Beauty”. Have you ever wondered where I came up with that title? I picked this title because it connects to so many aspects of my life and can relate to anyone who may be going through something difficult in their life. Based on my previous posts, you know that I struggled with body image and an eating disorder. You may not realize that my family and myself have gone through more than my eating disorder.

At a young age, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was in preschool and yes at that time I didn’t realize what exactly was happening but now looking back it was tough on my family. I would say I missed quite a few days of preschool, as it was hard for my mom to go to chemotherapy and be back to pick me up on time. Because of this, I went with my mom to chemo. To this day, she will tell you I was her “chemo buddy”. I could tell you so much more and so many more memories I have, but I’m saving them for another post J This was the first and we were hoping the last time God would test our families strength.

When I was in 6^th grade my oldest brother and biggest role model made the decision to drink and drive. He was in a car accident involving two other people and was sent to prison for 5 years and was released in 2 1/2 because of good behavior. We can sit here and justify his decision deserved those years in prison, he knew that himself considering he plead guilty but my family still went through something I don’t wish upon any family. To watch my biggest role model be handcuffed and taken away from me was the hardest thing to watch. One thing I'll never forget was how I had the opportunity to watch my brother own up to his mistake and become a better man, friend, and brother because of it.

The following year my dad was in a farming accident where he fell 70 feet in a grain elevator due to a faulty counter weight. I will never forget that day when my aunt Heidi came to my school and told me to grab my coat and bag. I was headed to a hospital where there was no guarantee my dad was still alive. To our surprise and the entire community he did survive. Again, I could go into so much detail but I’ll save my thoughts for a follow up post!

Throughout high school and even into my college years is when I struggled with an eating disorder. At this point, I thought God was out to get me. I thought I had done something wrong because he was giving me yet another struggle.  You’ve all heard about my personal battle, how I overcame, the beauty I found in this situation but as you could probably assumed, there will always be future posts about this.

This past summer, we found out my beautiful niece, Everlee was diagnosed with Congenital Disorder of Glycosylation (CDG). You may not be familiar with CDG and that’s okay because my family wasn’t either. It’s a very rare genetic disorder and when I say rare I mean Everlee is 1 of 900 cases in the United States. Everlee is two years old and simple motor skills such as grabbing objects and handing them to people is challenging for her. She is doing fantastic with therapy and making tremendous progress. A family friend told me the other day there is no greater family that could love and support this little girl and the obstacles she’ll face everyday than mine and I couldn’t agree more. Everlee will have a different life compared to most kids but she has wonderful parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents that will beside her every step of the way. Please stay tuned for my follow up blog regarding Everlee and CDG. We would love your help in raising awareness.

My family has been given some obstacles but I truly believe God wouldn’t have given us anything we couldn’t or can’t handle. We have all been given obstacles or struggles in our lives but I’m here telling you about mine so you don’t feel alone in yours. We can all relate to each other somehow. Finding the Beauty during these hard times can be tough but if we’re all patient and look hard enough, we can find it.

            Love, JohannahMichale

National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA)

What’s new you may ask? The list could go on forever! I’ve been up to a little bit of everything! All of which, I am going to share with you here! Today I want to talk about the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) Walk I am coordinating for this coming April! This is the 2^nd annual NEDA walk in Iowa City and the only NEDA walk in the state of Iowa! The walk is going to be held on April 16^th at Iowa City Park starting at 9:30. Our goal this year is to raise $10,000. Here is the link for the website, www.nedawalk.org/iowacity2016!

I have been working so hard towards this walk and I would love your personal support! I encourage you to come and participate! If you would like to register, here is the link, http://goo.gl/OrPpqS. We are looking for sponsors as well, please feel free to contact me via e-mail: Johannah.vittetoe@gmail.com/Facebook if you would like to sponsor or know anyone who would! We can’t make this NEDA walk happen without sponsors! If you can’t participate in the walk and can’t be a sponsor I still encourage you to donate to this amazing cause! Here’s the link to do so, http://goo.gl/blBX9s. I am currently working on my speech that I will share to the entire community before the official walk begins! Seeing some familiar faces in the crowd would be nice J If you can’t do any of the things I’ve listed above, please like and share our Iowa City NEDA walk Facebook page!

NEDA is a phenomenal National Organization that does so much for those struggling with eating disorders! I have had the privilege to work with them and they have been the greatest help and support system in making my wants and dreams happen with Eating Disorder Advocacy!  NEDA is currently giving me so many opportunities and I am taking advantage of every single one! I am coordinating this NEDA Walk, bringing Proud2BMe (an online eating disorder community and support group/system) to Iowa State University’s Campus, publishing my writing pieces to the Proud2BMe online community, I am a media watchdog for NEDA, and currently going through training to be a NEDA Navigator! NEDA Navigators are volunteers who have first-hand experience with eating disorders and are well into their own or their loved one’s recovery. We have been trained by NEDA staff and clinical advisors to be a knowledgeable, informal source of guidance to others. I am so excited about all of these opportunities and can’t wait to share my experiences with you here on my blog! Please stay tuned and keep finding the beauty!

JohannahMichale

I Found the Beauty Within My Letters.

How is everyone? I’m just getting through my classes, starting my field experience for my elementary education major, and trying to overcome this awful cold. Aside from that, I want to talk about my sorority today. Too many times, people are so quick to judge when they hear I am in a sorority. I am a member of Delta Delta Delta, some of you may or may not know the name. You may have heard some negative stereotypes or maybe you’ve heard we raise thousands of dollars for our philanthropy with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and Clinics. I want to talk about one of the many things that stood out to when I was considering Tri-Delta and now being apart of it, what has impacted me the most. 

When I was going through primary recruitment and I was struggling with my eating disorder and body image. I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine on how I didn’t know if I could do this whole sorority thing. I remember telling my friend how I’ll never get into a house competing against all of these amazingly beautiful and confident girls. She told me, she didn’t know if it was a good idea for me either. She didn’t want me putting myself down anymore than I already was. This all changed when I walked into the door of 302 Ash Avenue.

Tri-Delta nationally participates in a movement called Fat Talk Free Week. When I heard about this, I knew this was the house for me. It was the house I needed at that very point in my life. Fat Talk Free Week is a weeklong event where all of us sisters hold each other accountable. We put positive post-it notes all around the house and on the mirrors. We promote positive body image, have guest speakers, and participate in fun activities as well. I wasn’t allowed to say one negative thing about myself. If I did, one of my sisters would call me out. It wasn’t just this week my sisters did this for me; it was all of the time.

My sophomore year I was finally comfortable enough to tell a few of my sorority sisters what I was going through. I was scared to tell them, but I am so happy that I did. They were the first people I told, they were the ones who made me realize it was all going to be okay. I never knew someone could have my back like these girls did. They called me out when I wasn’t eating, they hid the scales from me, and made sure I had the support I needed when I was struggling. They were my rock. Too many times, people don’t see the beauty in sorority letters. I have been lucky enough to find the beauty in mine and I am so grateful for that.

Tri-Delta has given more than what people probably realize. The very moment I told those girls in 2^nd Add what I was going through is a moment I will never forget. They were my first step to recovery and I could never thank these girls enough for what they did for me that year. They will always have a special place in my heart.

Delta Love and All Mine,

JohannahMichale

             

Thank You.

   College. All I have to say is I can definitely tell the difference between my current 400 level classes compared to the classes I took my freshman year. Man, if only I could go back. Between Christmas break where I was trying to get non-school work done, to my current school work, my apartment having to replace 3 pipes in our bathrooms. Yes, I said Bathroom(S), and to top it off my apartment just had a main pipe back up and our toilets, bathtub, and shower overflowed into our apartment with sewage water. Needless to say I've been dealing with a lot of poop lately (no pun intended). 

Enough with the negative stuff!

   I am so happy to be blogging again and to be writing to all of you. I've been able to find the beauty in my days because of so many of you, even in the times of struggle and stress. This is what I want to write about today. Instead of trying to impact you, I want to share with you some of the many ways all of you have impacted me. Beyond sharing them with you, I want to thank you. There are so many moments and people I could mention and thank but here are just a few:

   -To all of you reading this or who have read my previous blog posts, thank you. I have lost count on the amount of people who have reached out to me and told me I’ve impacted them and to keep writing.

   -Thank you to the people who have taken time out of their days to thank me for sharing my story because it helped them see the light at the end of the tunnel in their fight against an eating disorder.

   -To the girls who are struggling with body image that have reached out to me for advice and encouragement! Thank you all.

   -Thank you to my friends and family who have read my blogs and shared them with friends and family.

   -To an Iowa State Advisor for taking time out of your day to ask about Miss Iowa and my platform. I was able to share a special moment with her because her daughter has struggled and battled with this mental illness. Thank you for encouraging and praising my choice to share my story that day.

   -My Tri-Delta Sisters, I want to thank the girls in the house who allowed me to open up while I was struggling. These girls were the first people I ever trusted enough to actually talk about what I was going through. Thank you to those who recognized when I struggling even when I thought I wasn’t and for holding me accountable.

   -Thank you to a couple important guys in my life. I want to take a second to thank AJ for trying his best to understand when I talk about this very uncomfortable topic for most. Your work ethic, passion, and drive motivate me every single day in this crazy thing called life. Your support doesn’t go unnoticed. To the other man in my life, my dad. Even though he probably won’t read this I still want to give him the credit he deserves. When I was struggling he was worried. He wouldn’t tell me but he would show me. He bribed me with my favorite restaurants. I remember one time he took me to a movie and then to Red Lobster just to see me eat. This past year, I told him I wanted a Krispy Kreme Donut at the end of Miss Iowa week and when he couldn’t find one within miles of Davenport, I think he was more bummed about it than I was. His little tough love comments pushed me and motivated me more than he’ll ever know. His continuous love and support is overflowing and I couldn’t be more grateful.

   -Thank you to a friend who recently reached out to be about her friend struggling and asking how she can better understand and help her. This friend of mine stated that she was “sorry” just in case her asking about this subject was “uncomfortable”. This moment made me write this blog and reminded me of something. Something I told her, “This is why I started sharing my story!”.

   -Yes, at first the idea of sharing my story was “uncomfortable”. I was scared people would judge me or think I was just doing this to get attention. Mariah Cary (no…not the singer, but a very good friend) was the very first person to encourage me to share my story. Mariah is the one who told me it was going to be okay. She told me I could impact so many people and I want to thank her for that. 

   -Thank you to my sister, Jenahlee. She was the person that told me to “Go for it”. She was the first person I called when I made the decision to start sharing my story. She was nothing but supportive when I asked for her opinion.  I was still feeling a little uneasy about it and her words that night are what made me do this. Her outside point of view on eating disorders and continuous support has helped tremendously.

   -My Mom was worried about me sharing my story at first but after seeing how far I’ve come I think we can both agree Miss Iowa and the platform it’s given me to share my story has been a true blessing.  With that being said, I want to thank my Mom. Not only for her unconditional love but also for her support beyond what anyone else has or can see. When I was struggling, she was the one who encouraged different ideas that could motivate me to become healthy, the Miss Iowa Scholarship Program for example. She is the one who has held me accountable and supported me. Yes, her tough love was most definitely tough sometimes but it was her who has been by my side every step of the way.

   -I am going to admit even saying the word Anorexia was hard to say with confidence at first. But ever since I opened the book of my story for everyone to read, you all have been nothing but encouraging. Nothing but supportive and I can’t thank you enough. The moments I just previously shared with you are what got me and keep me going. They keep me motivated to find the beauty everyday and to keep sharing about it. All of your support and kind words remind me why I started sharing my story and let me know I am helping and impacting more people than I ever thought possible.

Thank you for that.

With love, JohannahMichale

Need, Want, Love.

Being a college student has been consuming my life! Between the stress of quizzes, readings, notes, and now studying for those horrifying finals, I needed a little break. A brain break, so I’m writing to all of you. Funny how the topic of today’s post came to me though, I had to watch a documentary for one of my classes. It was called “Miss Representation”. Long story short, it discussed a lot of social media and how social media is portraying women and their bodies. This is carrying over to women across the world and how they feel they are only worthy based on their body. This obviously hit home for me as the documentary started with girls discussing their eating disorders and how they feel they are only worth what their body portrays.

We all need to be needed. We all want to be wanted. We love to be loved. Speaking on my own behalf, I felt like all those things couldn’t happen if my body wasn’t the way guys wanted or wasn’t attractive. Too many times men (not all men) say they’ll love us for who we are or don’t want us to look like those Victoria Secret Models and yes, some will mean it. But other times this is really hard to believe when they are telling us to gain weight if we’re too skinny, hinting at working out, wishing we had bigger boobs or a nicer butt, or better yet, we’re wiping the drool from their faces as they watch the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

There is so much pressure in this world for us to look a certain way. It is hard to not give in and all of a sudden feel like we aren’t good enough. Think about it, how many made those “fat jokes” during the Victoria Secret Fashion show or how many girls said something negative about themselves? I'm not shaming those models by any means, a lot of those girls workout really hard to stay in the shape they are, it's their job! But the way girls are allowing these outside influences affect them makes me sick. Your worth does not lie in the way your body looks. What happened to being happy in your own skin? Being confident with what God gave us? Why are we constantly wishing to be like other girls? I’m sure those girls we wish we looked like are wishing something different about themselves. I used to wish so many things about myself were different. We all need to stop wishing and start embracing! You are you, and no one is like you. Embrace that. 

We all need to be needed. We all want to be wanted. We love to be loved. As nice and amazing it is to have all of those from someone else we need to give it to ourselves first. Outside influences, don’t mean anything. Need yourself, want yourself, and love yourself. Find the beauty in yourself and love it. You are human and you need to be loved, just like everything else in this world.

Love, JohannahMichale